Posted: September 29, 2010 in Ramdom thoughts

(This article was originally posted in my Multiply account dated October 2, 2008. The text is edited for clarity and coherence.)

I remember my Geography class three years ago where we defined the word topophilia. It is the love and attachment to places. Since then, I knew what always distracts me all these years.

I miss old places that were once a part of my life. The vacant lot where I used to play when I was a child, the old subdivision where we once lived, my kindergarten and elementary school, the childhood alleyway where my parents and I used to walk going to Bayan (Gil Fernando Avenue, Marikina City), and the market itself. I can still recall how I cried and insisted to buy food and toys I see along the way. I remember how they made my day complete, that after a tedious morning jogging with my dad, or a simple gala with mom, they would brought me to Jollibee or Mc Donald’s to compensate the day.

I miss my Tita’s house where I used to sleep-over often. I miss her backyard full of sunflowers in a hot summer season.

I am the only child of the family and I am raised well. I don’t have the right to be spoiled-brat because we are not wealthy. I learned to live a simple and solitary childhood life expect for some subdivision friends who visit me in our garage. I miss the store where we used to hang-out and make stories.

I can’t explain why almost all my childhood memories were related to rain. I miss my old room where I used to spend rainy days in just staring the wet pavement and trees on the street. I miss shouting at the top of my lungs under the raging yet sweet rain. I miss writing my name, my crush’s name and all my feelings and dreams in the misty windowpane.

I miss these places and the happiness attached to those. I miss the people as well. Some are distant now, some still keep in touch.

Everyday, things seem to be monotonous. I wake up, go to school and church, meet old and new friends and lie in my bed again. But as I look back, everything is different. That’s why I miss these things.

Today, there are no more parents to treat me each time I am tired. Now, it’s harder to admit that you like someone. No more playmates who knock in the garage gate. No more alleyway where my parents and I used to walk, now, I walk alone in a cold, moonlit night. No more Tita because she has her own children now. No more sunflowers because my Tito who plants those is working abroad.

No more chances to dance under the rain. If there are, rare.

I miss my childhood days, but I know I can’t be forever young. All I can do is to always look back and get inspiration from my cheerful past. Be grateful to many people who became part of it. Work hard today. Dream big and keep the optimism and faith for a bright future.


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