NOT WORTH IT

Posted: October 29, 2010 in School

Today comes one of the worst news I have ever had in the past. It is something about the school grade and it is a first time.

I am not at all surprised but I am still caught off guard. I am about to be totally frustrated when I come across a link posted by friends in Facebook about a graduating student my age who committed suicide yesterday because of a failed subject causing her delay in graduation (see full article: http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/regions/view/20101028-300306/UPLB-student-found-dead). Of course, it is painful to fail subjects especially in the part of parents who work hard for our tuition fees. She is not alone. There are a lot who shared the same pain like hers but opted to continue living. I do not blame her for killing her own life but I believe that a failing grade is not worth a life.

A part of me regrets that this happened and I still question what I have done that led to this circumstance but my mind keeps on saying that “Yes. Nobody should be blamed except you and this is the fruit of what I sow but it is not the end of life. You are left with a lesson to do things better after the failure”.

Another thing that surprised me is this grade dilemma did not hurt me the way break ups and physical hurts happen to me. I am weird but I would rather feel this way than being down and not standing up again.

The next semester is the last shot and there are no room for major mistakes. This semester must be like my very first semester in UP– a very competitive new kid in town that will walk from UP Shopping Center amidst heavy rain (because he did not know the jeepney routes!), across Engineering Bldg., Main Library to Palma Hall just to submit a one-piece paper in his teacher’s pigeon hole on time.

Yes, this is a setback, there were ones before and some will still happen in the coming months but in my twenty-one years of existence, there are no major, major mistake that happened in my life and that is something to be thankful for.

Yes, there are problems, there are always feelings of lack and uncertainty but it is more beautiful to love and be alive so I reckon that all problems that come my way shall pass and are not worth my life.

A "lived" life

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