Archive for the ‘School’ Category

Location: UP College of Mass Communicatio parking lot (commonly known as Batibot)

Date: December 10, 2010

Photographer and editor: Jen Iligan (I love you! :D)

This is my personal favorite.

An attempt to shoot a bench-like brand LOL

What is candid.

To the left, to the left, says Jen I.

Another candid

Kiss.

Wit. Wititit. LOL

Jen Tarnate and her lookbook story. HAHA

Weh?

Please.

Overjoy.

Chill.

Go!

To life!

We had a very fun day. Here’s the real story behind the title. “Fine” is Glenn Pamatmat (who for some reason didn’t appear in the edited material), “Fresh” is me, isn’t is redundant? Haha! And “Fierce” is Jen Tarnate. Maybe she had already uploaded these photos in here lookbook or used for her thesis. LOL

Happy holidays everyone! Stay in love! 🙂

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I LOVED YOU FIRST

Posted: November 21, 2010 in Ramdom thoughts, School

“And the history books forgot about us and the Bible didn’t mention us, the Bible didn’t mention us. Not even once.”

Regina Spektor’s song “Samson” remains a mystery for me but I keep on singing and playing it since the first time I heard it. A forum in Yahoo says it means two lovers and the boy suffers from an unknown disease so Samson “went back to bed, not much hair left on his head and ate his slice of wonderbread…” The wonderbread is the medicine. He is so weak with his sickness that he “couldn’t bring the columns down, we couldn’t destroy a single one.” It is an incurable, unknown disease that “the history books forgot about us and the Bible didn’t mention us, the Bible didn’t mention us. Not even once.” These premises somehow convince me that it gave me another perspective to the song. The simile is quick and witty. It is a seemingly sweet love song but it turns out to be the most tragic one.

One of my professors in this last semester of my undergraduate life in UP is Prof. Victor “YouKnowWho” Avecilla. It’s been his habit that during the very first day in class, all his students would introduce themselves and share something about their love life and for the second time that he became my professor, it happened to me and our batch. When it was my turn, I didn’t want to make things complicated that he would question every single detail like an NBI interrogator so with regard to my love life, I just said, “I am currently not in a relationship and I have no plans to have one soon.” He asked why. I answered, “Sir, I am too busy with my thesis.” He gave a worth remembering remarks that you wouldn’t hear often from an “Avecilla” who is notorious through the years. He said, “You should not be too busy to love. When love knocks at your door and you don’t entertain it, it will hardly come back again.” It’s been two sessions of our Broadcast Ethics class that he is kind and calm and I am hoping the same in the remaining months.

Deep inside my mind, I wish I could share my ideas to him about love and life. I want him to know that I am full of love from my family and those that come and go in the past, yet, I still feel empty and unloved at times.

I want him to understand that life is good and I’m having fun (sounds like the Bambini Cologne ad. LOL). But the goodness and fun in this life is never constant and when I remember my childhood, all I can see is memories related to rain.

I want him to listen that I am not a “flirt”. I am serious and hopeless romantic. I am longing for that one, sweet, stable relationship that no matter what temptations come our way, our love for each other will still matter. Someone who is afraid to lose me and is there to celebrate life with me is enough.

I want to agree with him that this lifetime is not too long and sooner or later, one by one, will go to eternity inevitably. I want to know his opinion with the things I experience that I never chose to, like, where is the thin dividing line between God’s control and God’s gift of free-will?

I want his funny joke if I ask what will happen to Jaime Sullivan and Landon James if the former didn’t die.

I have a lot of things to say when he said that, but I opted to remain silent because I know that arguing with him will lead to nowhere. A nod is enough to say that I share the same thoughts with him and although he is much older than me and he knows a lot about his field more than me, our thoughts are never far from each other. I’m afraid that I am too mature theoretically but immature in practice.

I still believe that there’s someone out there for me that despite my immaturities and insecurities would still love me because he knows me through and through.

As of this writing, I just want to put my heart and self into rest. I just want to finish my thesis with satisfaction and graduate on April 17, 2011.

Love comes in different forms and sometimes, through letting go.

During UP MCO's photoshoot. This is what happens when you write your thesis in Jejenese (the language of Jejemons)

 

 

NOT WORTH IT

Posted: October 29, 2010 in School

Today comes one of the worst news I have ever had in the past. It is something about the school grade and it is a first time.

I am not at all surprised but I am still caught off guard. I am about to be totally frustrated when I come across a link posted by friends in Facebook about a graduating student my age who committed suicide yesterday because of a failed subject causing her delay in graduation (see full article: http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/regions/view/20101028-300306/UPLB-student-found-dead). Of course, it is painful to fail subjects especially in the part of parents who work hard for our tuition fees. She is not alone. There are a lot who shared the same pain like hers but opted to continue living. I do not blame her for killing her own life but I believe that a failing grade is not worth a life.

A part of me regrets that this happened and I still question what I have done that led to this circumstance but my mind keeps on saying that “Yes. Nobody should be blamed except you and this is the fruit of what I sow but it is not the end of life. You are left with a lesson to do things better after the failure”.

Another thing that surprised me is this grade dilemma did not hurt me the way break ups and physical hurts happen to me. I am weird but I would rather feel this way than being down and not standing up again.

The next semester is the last shot and there are no room for major mistakes. This semester must be like my very first semester in UP– a very competitive new kid in town that will walk from UP Shopping Center amidst heavy rain (because he did not know the jeepney routes!), across Engineering Bldg., Main Library to Palma Hall just to submit a one-piece paper in his teacher’s pigeon hole on time.

Yes, this is a setback, there were ones before and some will still happen in the coming months but in my twenty-one years of existence, there are no major, major mistake that happened in my life and that is something to be thankful for.

Yes, there are problems, there are always feelings of lack and uncertainty but it is more beautiful to love and be alive so I reckon that all problems that come my way shall pass and are not worth my life.

A "lived" life

ASUNDER

Posted: September 1, 2010 in School

If I am an orange and my owner wants to get  juice out of me, he/she will throw me big time. This is another “thesis moment” where I am lost in theory and practice. I invited my friends to spend overnight with me in Burger King Timog Ave. with a rationale that when I am with friends and away from my bed, I could be more productive, but obviously, the reverse happens. I just stare at the blank Word file and an empty outline for hours, not to mention that this draft is due tomorrow (Friday).

I got a quarter pounder, a cup of cappuccino, Whooper meal, Sting, and I know what, where and how to start but still I feel weak and uninspired to write. This disgusting feeling has been hounding me for weeks now and I can’t still find the right remedy to this. It seems like the world around me is so noisy and mean that the best thing that I can do is to look at them and be silent, at least to negotiate and compensate with my own personal burdens. This blurring of the self makes my being asunder. It goes inside my bones and I can feel the excruciating pain, only to realize that the cause and effect of this is inflicted by no other than myself.

I always have issues in having a thesis partner but along the way, I learned to love doing the research individually but now I understand what it feels like to have a thesis partner. In this cold and stubborn night, you will be loved and understood. Things indeed are really meant to be shared. Or at the very least, I don’t need to rant randomly in my journal and spend a night without doing anything productive.

May his thesis proposal rest in peace (on Friday).

APRIL 24, 2011*

Posted: August 5, 2010 in School

In the coming months, I can imagine a “plants vs. zombies” scenario in UP. As the sunflowers bloom in the heat of the summer, zombies will also be coming to school, staying up late in McDonalds Katipunan or Burger King Welcome Rotonda for wi-fi and late-night meetings, and running back and forth in search of their advisers. Sunflowers along the University Avenue tell the zombies– the graduates that sooner or later it will also be the Annual Commencement Exercises of the academe.

I am one of the candidates in the coming graduation. As of now, things are doing well; I have a good thesis topic and the best thesis adviser. But these good things can only do so much. I know I have to shake my ass and release millions of neurons to make things happen as they must. I know more tedious time will come, that I will wish that Jimmy Neutron is my brother so I can ask for his help or Doraemon is my friend so he can lend me his gadgets or I might kick a prick along Sunken Garden and the genie will come out to grant me three wishes. I always tell my friends that I don’t want to graduate yet but I realized that there are really no graduations and the final examinations are continuous because we still learn everyday even after the college years. I look forward to that fateful day of April 24, 2011, the UP-CMC Commencement Exercises*, that after which I will enrol in a Master’s program either in Anthropology or International Studies.

I am optimistic and determined. I am still young and I have a lot more plans to achieve. I just want to make one step at a time.

For now, to graduate next year is a sweet relief and there is no reason not to…

NO BALLS (COURTSIDE THOUGHTS)

Posted: July 17, 2010 in School

I got no balls of sports. I am not a sporty person. My Dad always compels me to be so but I can’t simply do it. But now that I am torn between a PR (Public Relations) class tasks and to maximize this one-time-big-time UAAP Media ID Pass, I am now forced to sit in the courtside, right beside the announcer and watch the schools cheer for their teams. As loud cheers of “shoot or get that ball” resonate, my mind shoots its own balls too.

My PR class task is to check and assist the media covering the event, get half-time statistics and bring these to the media room. After the game, I also have to invite the winning coach and highest pointer player to the press room for post-game interviews.

Yes, it’s fun but it really takes a lot of PR skills. It’s a starstruck feeling to get near to players you just once saw in a giant ad poster or television. You have to deal with stubborn and rude media people—of course, with a smile no matter how fake it is. The first set is between AdU and ADMU, while the second match is NU versus DLSU. I really don’t care which team wins in either of the two games because it does not make any relevance to me.

There are boring times when I just stare randomly to the score board and wait the digits change, or as the Madness of Crowd Theory say, amidst the crowd, wether you like it or not, you will find yourself conforming to the majority of actions, so I clap, or stand, or something like that. It’s weird right? Surprising things come along the way too, like the What? NU’s Embe is just 18 years old and he’s already 6 feet and 1 inch tall? or Gosh, ADMU’s Salva sits next to me and he smells good. (HAHA!) But as the title of Brother’s Grimm’s fairytale suggest, all is well that ends well. The sweetest thing happened at the end of the UAAP game that day, and the rest is mine to keep.

Now there is one good reason to come back and see another UAAP game, then an inevitable smile lit on my face.

STRANDED

Posted: July 13, 2010 in Ramdom thoughts, School

FACTS:

1. It rains.

2. I have no umbrella.

3. I am alone in the CMC lobby.

It’s like a de ja vu and beyond this, a routine.

Living in the Centennial Dorm is a comfy thing. Now, I don’t need to chase with traffic jams along Cubao-Aurora or catch the last terminal trip going home. I don’t regularly hear my parents’ endless reminders and pre-judgments. But somehow, I miss them. I am not really into living alone. As the only child of the family, I was really sheltered and pampered. Though I’m always nostalgic about my childhood, I completely know the fact that I am a grown-up now. I need to bear this. Today, there’s no Daddy to fetch and bring me home and no Mommy to cook a priceless supper.

This “mechanical” UP life kills me softly and the only clinging reason why I am still doing this is for the love of knowledge and the thought that I have a lot to reciprocate to. Maybe someday, all these confusions, grudges, frustrations and fear will come to clarity and fruition so I should not falter.

The rain will end tonight and I will eventually get “home” but these feelings will remain. Yes, I blog a alot about the rain but nothing can replace the feeling of dancing under the rain.

It’s euphoric and sensational, and the tears? Nobody can see.